Underneath: The Facade
by Nelaine
Summary: When Etain falls for her first real crush, Avery, and he breaks her heart, who can she turn to with her best friend missing in Spain? With her enemy-turned-friend, she will go on a journey that will change her life. Forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Underneath.**

I walked down to the school lot and found my old, green little car that sat old and weary in a small, secluded parking space that I only knew about: behind the old tool house that sat at the far right end of the parking lot. I pulled my suede jacket closer to my body as the wind whirled and whooshed against my face and neck, threatening to bring a nice present that came with tissues and cough medicine; not my idea of how to spend the short fall break. I plopped myself into the seat, closed the door, and sat. It had seemed as if only one week had passed since August and now, but the Fall Break was now fast approaching and Student Council was hustling and bustling- busy as ever. I looked back to last year and remembered when I had time for other things......

A year ago, when I was a junior at Evinglore College Preparatory School for the Gifted, I met Avery. He was a senior there, quiet, but brilliant. He was artistic and unique, his uniform always crafted in some way that amazingly didn't break school rules, and I was the girl that became the talk of the school. Smarter than most juniors, on the level of some seniors, I aced my classes and continued to be the star student that I'd always striven to be. Although my grades were high, and I took as many chances I could for extra-curricular activities that was possible, I still was a quiet soul. Never questioning the will of my authorities, I trembled at the thought of ever breaking a school rule. Snobby and preppy was never my forte, I was always a poet and a writer at heart, inhabiting small corners to type a story or write in a journal, or doodle in a notebook harmlessly, not wanting to stir up any drama with the other students. I did have a friend though, one I knew since kindergarten. Her name was Cassie Bartholomew, or C.B. for short. She was the exact opposite of me, though not snobby, she was always seeking some way to perform for others in plays and school productions. She was student body president for three years in a row and she was totally cool with everyone. She was charismatic and a friend generator, as I called her, and not to mention, she was beautiful. She possessed the longest and softest brown hair that super models would be jealous of, and a slender but perfectly crafted body that every girl in the school coveted. Cassie always found something to find beautiful about everyday, and me for that matter. Even though I consistently disagreed, she was still ever insisting that I was _so gorgeous, _with my brown and blond hair (my mother was black and my father was white), and my mocha skin tones, but I was always away in a nook or cranny, hiding myself away to study that I guess guys gave up on trying to understand me, not that they didn't throw a pick-up line out there now and then. Seemingly, we were the popular girls in the school, the brain and the beauty, but together we were just...regular old people. But something, I guess, was different about the way we walked, or the way we talked to each other, something that was more _real_ about us, that caught Avery's eye. I used to drool over his school pictures in the newspaper and desperately but secretly tried to craft a way for us to have classes together, although he was two years older. I joined some of his clubs, took some of the electives he did (I could because I was taking some senior classes), and even noticed some of the drinks he always had in his hand- a blue Monster. I remember it was a Thursday that we didn't have school, and I was there, setting up for a debate that was going on that weekend....

* * *

The school was barren, and I had some time, after setting up banners for the event, to wander down the halls to get myself a soda. I was student body vice president, liking to be behind the scenes, and Cass was now an exchange student in Spain, so I filled in for her, doing work around the school dutifully as she usually did. As I was strolling tiredly down the hall I heard some bustle in the art room, and peeked in unnoticed, and there he was.

I was frozen with fear. I had had my eye on him since the beginning of the year, and there we were, alone, him sitting at an easel while I felt more and more like a peeping Tom. I quickly retreated down the hallway, my heart beating, and hurriedly walked down the hallway, thinking about what I just saw. Him, in some slim khakis and a light blue t-shirt, not to mention a t-shirt that complimented his beautifully sculpted back muscles. Okay. I needed to stop. Just as I was in mid-thought, I heard a soft, low voice call after me.

"Etain...is that you?"

I stopped in my tracks, blushing through my almond complexion, and turned around quickly, almost losing my balance. _He...knew my name...!_ I thought elatedly.

"Yes, that's me," I said with a timid smile.

"I thought I saw someone peek in there slyly...but I wanted to be sure." He chuckled, while my face began to burn.

"Oh, yeah, I just thought I heard someone in there, I didn't want to bother you, I mean, it looked like you were up to something in there. Not like, bad, just, you know, something good."

My last words came out in a rush, and I wanted to hit myself over the head with a heavy book for sounding like such a dork.

He laughed."Yeah, I was just in there trying to get my art assignment done before next week. Having extra time can really save lives, you know."

"Hah, yeah." I laughed along with him.

"So where are you headed to in such a rush? Are you late for something? I don't want to hold you up, if you are..." he looked at me.

"Oh! Um, no, I was just... I was just going to get some soda, actually." I answered, trying to keep my excitement under control.

"Cool, cool...hey, um, would you mind getting me some? I actually am kinda thirsty, too." He said, giving me three quarters from his pocket. He handed them to me, and they were warm in my palm.

"Sure! Um, what do you want?" I asked.

'"Um, I don't know, anything." he replied.

"Um, okay, I'll be right back, then," I said.

I walked down the hallway a little faster than I had before and turned the corner to stick the quarters in the machine. I contemplated indecisively what I wanted to get him, because I didn't even know what he liked, and I was about to panic, but then decided if I took too long he would get suspicious and I got him the same thing that I did, some lemon lime soda. I walked back to the art room, and looked inside, not seeing him there. _Okay...what's going on here...?_ I thought with exasperation, and as soon as I turned around..._Bam! _ We collided as I was walking out of the classroom, and he was coming in. I instantly lost my balance and was falling, the sodas already on the floor, pop spurting out of the lid from the fall. I knew I was falling and before I could even begin to try and catch it, I felt a pair of two warm, strong hands on my waist, and pull me back up to the surface. Disoriented, I let out a little _oh! _ and rubbed my head a bit.

"Oh, my gosh, I am _so _sorry! I wasn't even watching where I was going... Oh, no, the sodas!" I was about to bend down and pick them up when I realized his hands were still on my waist and he was trying to tell me something, but seemed to be too tickled by my whole freak out moment. I blushed, yet again, and he looked down at me, into my eyes.

"Hey there, are you okay? Don't worry about the sodas, we can get some more, alright? Don't worry about it, it's just some change, anyway." He lulled me with his low voice, and I instantly felt weightless in his hold.

"Hey, how 'bout I take you in here with me...you look a little dizzy." he laughed.

He led me into the art room and sat me down on a stool against the wall. He sat down next to me, and I noticed he smelled of Sandalwood and delicious cologne.

"Hey, so, you're a junior here, right?" He inquired.

"Yeah, I am... but I feel older. Like I've been here longer than I actually have, you know?"

"Yeah, I know the feeling."he replied with a distant look on his face. Trying to avoid awkwardness, I swiftly changed the subject.

"Hey, so, thanks for catching my fall a couple seconds ago. I'm sure I would've been a goner." I joked.

"Yeah, no problem. Hey, you know what? Would you....like to join my art club? I only have one member so far... you seem like a perfect candidate." He was asking me to join his art club.

Me. To join _his_ art club.

I wanted to scream yes, and shout to the heavens _Thank the Lord!_, but I controlled myself with a simple reply.

"Sure! When do you guys meet...or should I say, when will we meet?"

Saturday at the Coffee Light on Fifth Avenue. Think you could make it? I'd really like you to come, you're a cool girl." He interjected slyly, a little half-smile on his face.

I blushed _madly_ as he smiled at me with his, now that I noticed, perfect pearly teeth, a unique smile that was his own. I melted.

"Um, yeah, I think I can. What time?" I asked, anticipation brimming under my calm facade.

"How about one? That alright for you?"

"Yeah, it's perfect," I said, hardly believing what was taking place. Checking the time, I flipped open my old phone, and was sad. My phone flashed 4:07 pm, and I was supposed to be back home by 4:30. I would have to depart.

"I guess... I guess I'll have to go, then...Oh, my gosh! Yeah, it's so late, I've got to be going, but, I'll see you soon." I couldn't keep from smiling.

As I said goodbye, I was about to exit down the hall when I felt a hand on mine.

"Hey, this is my number. Call me when you feel like it, alright?" He smiled as he slipped a small, ripped, and folded piece of notebook paper into my other hand and walked down the hallway, to the gym, and out the door.

"Alright," I whispered, dazed by the passed events.

_I was going on a date with _Avery. I couldn't believe my luck. The guy that I liked for the longest noticed me, and we were going on a _date. _Well, technically, we were supposed to be meeting up to talk about his art club, but come on! This was _amazing._ This supposedly uneventful day turned out to be a major turning point in my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

Lies

As I headed out the glass doors of the academy, the past events were still raw in my mind.

I met with the cool breeze of the October winds through my thick flannel zip-up, the draft penetrating through my jacket as if it were a paper towel.

I shivered instinctively. I was grateful for the cold front, since it had only just been cooling down, and winter was my favorite season. I loved wearing the winter clothing: the scarves... the mittens... and burlap coats, the insulating boots that came up to the knee… I loved it all. It was only autumn, but I was _highly_ anticipating the coming winter months in only a few passing weeks. More like I was anticipating _Winter Break._

I exited down the grand front entrance of the school, feeling small and insignificant in comparison to its amazing three story height and dark, huge, brick stature. At the front entrance, there was perfectly manicured ten foot hedges, sculpted and crafted into thick spiraling noodles and large squares. Flowers delicately but regally laced the outer edges of the gardens, like a lace trim on a large dress. I threw my woven scarf around my neck as I bared myself against the powerful winds of fall. I hurried to my car, an old and quite meager hunk of scrap metal that once belonged to my father belonged to my father when he was just a teenager. It was a dull, dark green with chips around the front and back headlights. It wasn't perfect on the outside; heck! You could probably donate the old thing to science, but it was perfect for me. It was the final 'living' remnant that I had of my father. I had never tried to clean it or put too much air freshener on the inside, wanting to salvage the scent of my father's days alive.

I slipped into the driver's seat, grabbed the keys out of my small, vintage canvas bag, slid the keys into the ignition and backed out into the parking lot. I knocked hard on the dashboard twice (it was the only way it would stay on), and headed off towards my job.

I'd had a passion for books ever since I could remember. It was pre-school when I purchased my first book, a children's book that had three little ducklings on the front. I remember I read it in one day, the little ducklings being seperated from their mother, and then from each other was simply one of the best plots that I'd ever read. I also remember my mother was quite alarmed that I'd finished the whole book in such a short time and was easily able to recite the entire book to her in one minute. Ever since then, I'd read hundreds upon hundreds of books, ranging from fantasy to romance to science fiction to non-fiction biographies. I'd never seen it as a chore, always as a wonderful privilege. As soon as I'd turned sixteen, I'd applied for a job a Books & Lattés, my favorite hang-out spot since the seventh grade. Since then, I'd been a faithful employee, missing one day in the entire year, only because of a funeral. So, every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday after school I headed down to the bookstore to work to sort books and help people find what they needed. I was the modest girl who always worked in between the bookshelves and knew where anything and everything was. I pulled to a stop at a light across from the "Market", a place where Cassie and I would always drive slowly past as we admired all the hot seniors and college freshmen that swarmed this area. We'd "window shop", pick up a new one everyday, and make up their life story. One time, we saw a Spanish-looking guy, and we'd made an entire story about how he'd only just moved from Spain, trying to fit in with the American lifestyle all the while searching for his true "amor". We'd laughed endlessly at our stories about our indiscriminate selections, but now as I passed by this street, the passenger seat where Cassie would usually sit now bare, all I felt was a sense of melancholy. I let out a little sigh as I drove down the unpaved avenue that followed the "Market" until I came down to the quiet part of town. There, I saw the bookstore sign glowing modestly against the brick building, and I pulled into the little strip mall.

I got my things together, grabbed my blue work polo with a little "Books & Lattes" logo stitched to the left breast out of the back seat, removed my flannel blazer, and threw it on over my pink V-neck. I put my blazer back on, tossed my multi-colored scarf around me, and headed inside, not forgetting to manually lock the driver's side door. I pulled open both sets of glass doors, the first opening up to a little pre-browse section, the second revealing the store. I was met with a luscious aroma of cinnamon, choco-chip cookies, and the cool scent of new book material. I waved a hello to my three other co-workers. Well, all except for one. There was Michael, a balding man in his forties, but with one of the warmest smiles you'd ever see. He was married once but his wife died years ago, and he had one daughter who was in high school. I'd met her once, and she was a direct reflection of her dad, both of them some of the most charming people you'd ever meet. Next was Blanche, an old woman who also shared the same passion for books just as I did, and a woman of amazing optimism. The world could be coming to an end, meteors falling and all and she would probably say something like, "Keep your head up," or "There's always a light at the end of that tunnel, y'know." I always came to her with all my problems, because no matter how bad it seemed, she'd always find a way to get me back up to my best condition and ready to roll in no time. Last was Leland, my arch nemesis since I'd first started working here. Le, I called him for short, was the most challenging guy I'd ever met, and the fact that his eyes were the weirdest shade of yellow that I'd ever seen, annoyed me. It kept me from really being able to look at him when we talked. I always felt like I was lower than him when we spoke. I knew it wasn't true, because he was enrolled at Foreland High, the most average school _ever. _ No one special came from there, but something about him, some kind of fierceness about him, was different. And it irritated me.

When I first came here, he was sitting at the counter, reading a kid's book, and when he looked up at me, I almost fell over when I saw them. "What do you want?" he asked, annoyed by my presence. I was immediately shrunken about three inches after his question. I seriously thought about not applying and just asking for a book and leaving the way I'd come in.

"I was just going to…I was just…just…" my words were strangled in my throat by his hostile stare.

"Yes?" he spat sharply.

"I was applying for a job here… if you're hiring…" I whispered.

"Oh. Here," he replied, obviously bored with my answer. He threw a piece of paper at me with a flick of his wrist. I caught it against my chest, now aggravated by his attitude.

"Fill it out. Here's a pen." He handed the pen to me. I snatched it from his hands, and stared at him with all my might. I didn't have a lot of bravado in me, but I gave him all the audacity that I could muster up. He looked incredulously back at me, our silent stares sending electrical sparks between us. He looked surprised at my boldness, so I was thoroughly pleased by his expression. It hadn't been but three minutes and we had already become enemies.

"Thank you very much." I replied sassily, never breaking eye contact with the boy. I went to go look for a place to sit and fill out the paper. I sat down and completed it as slowly as I could, wanting to get on his nerves, him wondering when I'd come back. As soon as I'd returned to the counter, I looked for his bored frown and his lazy eyes. He was nowhere to be found. Instantly infuriated, I was about to turn around, crumple the application, toss it in the garbage and leave, when a tall, nice-looking man called over to me.

"Oh, hello! Are you applying? If you are, thank the heavens! I've wanted a new youth to come and join eventually, or we'd never survive! This bookstore has been on the edge, if you know what I'm sayin', eh? Eh?" I was thrown by the onslaught of words that he put at me, but I processed what he said and replied plainly.

"Yes, I'm applying."

"Well, that's just wonderful! You're hired!" With that, he grabbed my application, shook my hand, and walked away, leaving me there. I was a bit dazed at what just happened, just as I was about to leave, he said to me,

"You don't think it's that easy, do ya? Come and follow me back here, ma'am. Oh! I didn't even get your name young lady. What is it?"

"Etain Comrie." I replied.

"Oh, what a nice name. It's a unique one, where y'from?"

"My dad was from Scotland. My mother is African-American. Eliet Comrie? She was a model." I said.

"Oh, well, then, that explains it," he interjected with a wink.

I smiled modestly as he led me to the employee room.

"Alright, so this is how it works here. _Adapt to your surroundings_. Learn the way of the bookstore. You are going to know all of the sections of the store by the end of this week, y'hear? Second, you will be part time barista on the days that our regular is not here. You work with a smile at all the times you are within a customer's sight. I want you to enjoy your other time of your life, so you are going to be working on all through the week except for Wednesdays. You can come through on the weekends if you'd like. So you see you've got a pretty flexible schedule.

"Be here on time, or its goodbye. You need to prove yourself to be a valuable employee before you get any more lenience than you're getting now. Thanks for coming, and your first day is tomorrow. Now, let me get you your work uniform and you can be on your way, missy." He finished his lecture with a smile and went into a metal closet to fetch me a polo work shirt.

"Are you a medium? Small?" he asked.

"Medium," I answered.

He yanked a shirt from out of the cabinet and handed it to me with a warm smile. Then, he reached into a desk drawer nearby and gave me a nametag that I'd clip on to my shirt or belt.

"Here you go." He motioned me to sign my name on the tag.

I signed it with a name tag, and looked up at him again.

"Thank you…um…Mr.…" I hesitated.

"Oh! That's right, how utterly rude of me. My name's Chris. Chris Michelson, but you can call me Chris." He said with yet another genial smile, extending his hand so I could shake it. His grasp handshake was strong and rhythmic, his eyes never breaking from mine. As soon as he'd let go of my hand, he'd motioned me out with a, "Run along now, I'm guessing you'd need to be on with your studies." I headed outside to my car, scarf around neck, and sat for a few seconds in awe of what just happened. _No one ever told me getting a job would ever be that easy!_ I thought, amazed. As I was in my little moment of thought, I was just about to slide the keys into the ignition when something in my peripheral caught my eye. Something yellow.

I caught Leland looking at me from inside his car, a dark blue, sleek sports car. As soon as our eyes connected, he looked away quickly, pulled out, and drove away in a flash, leaving me barely enough time to process what had just happened.

All had become silent from within my car, enough that I could hear my own heartbeat. My heart was racing, but I didn't know why. _What was wrong with him?_ I asked, frustrated. _Even more… what's wrong with me?_

Since that day, Leland and I never had as much as a five-minute conversation, always retreating to opposite corners of the store to do our own business. As hostile as he was, he was at the cash register while I was in between the bookcases, sorting and categorizing. I'd never really wanted to find out more about hi, neither him me. But something, something about him, it wasn't his demeanor, I knew that, but maybe something _deeper_ in him, always had me unconsciously gravitating towards him. But I didn't want to get any closer.

So it was a Thursday after Avery had asked me out on a date, and I had called my mom to tell her I would be working at the bookstore until seven. After I'd finished my shift, I'd headed home to sleep. During my drive home, I kept on thinking about what had happened between me and Avery. I debated telling my mother, my excitement nearly uncontainable, but decided _against_ doing so. I drove into my little community of houses, _Amber Peak_, headed down a couple streets to my house, and pulled in. I grabbed all of my belongings, trudged up the driveway, and opened the door.

"Mom!" I called out. I waited for a reply.

"Etain, is that you?" she asked mildly.

"Yeah," I replied tiredly.

"There's some ham in the fridge and some soup in there, too, so if you're hungry…" her voice died with a few little mumbles, then nothing.

"Alright," I said quietly, dropping my things down onto a high chair at the island, and coming around to look in the fridge and see what I'd have. I decided on a yogurt and some granola.

My house was pretty big. Having a high ceiling with glass on sections of the roof and four bedrooms and four bathrooms, not to mention a full basement and a loft, with a large lake view, it was pretty grand. I'd never fully been satisfied with the house though, since it only had two occupants, and never possessed that "homey" feel. And our other inhabitant, Cassie, was now in Spain as an exchange student, while I was stuck in old Connecticut, nothing exciting happening here. She would almost always be here on the weekends and on every other day of the week, even though I'd say her house was more immense than this, her father being the CEO of a world-recognized electric company, Supreme Electric. Her father had known my father before we were even born, so we basically adopted her into the family. I wondered how I had come to be so fortunate, financially. I could fly different places, I mean, I already had my passport, and I was only sixteen. My birthday would be coming up, March 27th, so soon my 18th year would be around the corner. I sat, eating my yogurt at the lone island, thinking about what I would wear to my date with Avery, without Cassie's usual help. She was a fashion _guru_, while I only just passed with a basic knowledge of what goes together and what doesn't. But my sadness would quickly fade and I was sure my empty friend nest syndrome would as well... when Saturday approached.

I headed upstairs, took a shower, attempting to wash away my thoughts along with whatever the day left with me, and went to bed.

Friday passed quickly, since we also didn't have any school that day either, and I did all my homework that day. I had some more pre-Cal and a report to do on Julius Caesar, and so I worked on until I felt it was satisfactory enough for the teacher. I managed to finish all my work by three, leaving me just enough time to get to work on time. In the year that I'd been working there, I'd never been late. Even so, the second week I'd been there Chris said I'd proven myself and lifted the conditions, saying that I was always on time, he was impressed, and I wouldn't get fired if I came in late _one_ time. But Michael, Blanche, Leland and I all knew he was a pushover. That didn't matter, anyway. I was _never _late or absent from work. Ever.

I grabbed my things and headed inside, eagerly wanting to escape the cold. I headed to the back, waving at Blanche, who was in the front, humming some old tune as she set some new books out on display. She waved back, the sweetest little smile on her face, her light gray hair tied into a low ponytail, the hair reaching no father than upper back. Michael appeared later as I headed farther back into the store to drop my things off in the back, and of course he asked me how I was and how was school and all of that. Michael was such a good person sometimes, even if someone wasn't always the best to him. You would've thought the passing of his wife would've hardened him, but no, it seems as if it opened his heart.

I didn't see Leland, and I wouldn't have waved to him anyway. I entered in the key, _2475_, and headed inside, only to see _him _there, setting his things down, too, across the way. The room was instantly filled with an electric, tension filled current. 

_Why did he have to work _here_?_ I moaned internally. As I turned the opposite direction to set my things in my locker, I could feel his cold stare on my back, making me blush involuntarily, annoying the heck out of me. He walked swiftly past, bored but unfriendly look forever plastered on his features. I wanted so badly to punch him in his stupid face, but I just held it together and waited five minutes before I walked out. This job would actually be enjoyable if he weren't here, and what angered me most? He actually didn't do anything to me that would be considered illegal_, _unless you could call hostile looks and cold stares illegal. Sometimes I wished I could just call the cops on him and tell them he was being a total jerk and a douche, take him to jail. But of course that wouldn't work, because he didn't actually express his dislike for me. I just didn't like him. And you know when you know someone doesn't like you, but they just don't say. It was so annoying. But even under my high dislike of him, there was a part of me that wished we could be friends, and just put away what we had started and just _try_ to like each other, since we really couldn't avoid one another.

But I couldn't even _imagine_ that happening.

I worked quietly and absently, wanting my time here to go by fast. I positioned myself at the very back of the store so I wouldn't have to see whether the windows were darkening or not; that helped to keep my mind off the time. It worked.

I flipped open my phone, and it flickered 7:57 pm, my shift being over at eight. I hurried into the employee room, grabbed my things from my locker, and left, waving goodbye to my co-workers.

I headed home once again, a similar routine from the day before, and went to bed. Tomorrow would get very, very interesting, I could barely contain my excitement within the confines of my body. I _couldn't wait _for the date.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:**_

**If you haven't already read **The Coffee Light, Companion Story **you need to read it before you continue on with this chapter. You'll be a bit confused and miss out on what went on between Avery and Etain in the date; it gets good!**

* * *

The wind. Ah, the wind felt deliciously cool against my flushed cheeks and my warm neck. I let it whisk me away to another place where I wouldn't think of anything except the road under my tires. The trees blurred past me in a sea of brown and green, and the sky was a gorgeous blue.

_This day couldn't get any better_, I thought happily to myself. The date went well, the weather was nice. Perfection.

As I made my way to the end of the old unpaved road that lied between the next town and my job, I slowly came down from my natural high and returned to Earth.

The old, flashing Books&Lattes sign slowly came into view, and I hurriedly grabbed my khakis and work polo from the back seat. I slipped the work polo over me as I slowly eased into a parking space, grabbing my canvas bag, locking the car door and heading inside, khakis in hand.

"Hey, there, E," a voice boomed from across the store.

"Hey, Mr. M." I said with a feeble smile. It was my boss, Chris.

"On time, just as always," he commented brightly as he approached, "Yeah, I'm going to need you to do me a favor and, uh... where's your pants?"

My stomach dropped. I hurriedly looked down and saw, no, not my underwear, but my dress. I forgot to slip my khakis on over it.

"Oh... I see, you were on a date, huh, weren't you?" He pried.

"Oh, um, well...yeah, how did you know?" I asked, truly interested in his intuition.

"Trust me, working as manager of a store always sharpens your senses.

"So, about that favor..."

"Uh-huh?" I pushed on.

"Well, there are some new books coming in today, and normally Michael and Leland would get the job done, but Mike's out sick today, so I'm going to ask you to fill in for him." He finished.

I had gone from willing, to absolutely protesting.

"Uh, heh, um... do I have to, Mr. M? I mean, that means I'll have to work with-"

Chris cut me off.

"Etain, I can't ask Blanche to do it, can I?" He asked rhetorically.

"..."

"No, so I need you to do it for me, please? Now ... I've noticed a thing... between you and Lee, and I know you guys don't necessarily get on well but..."

"Thing? What thing? I don't know what you mean. I just... uh, I'm just not really strong enough to carry heavy objects, that's all." I lied.

"Now, E, you don't think that the whole time you've been working here, I haven't noticed the _tension_ between you two. I hope you don't think I'm _that_ dull."

Darn Chris's intuition.

"Okay, well, yeah, I guess so..."

"Okay, good, that's step one: admitting to your problem. Step two is sucking it up and going to help Leland, who is carrying in the books right now."

I winced, but I didn't want Chris to think lowly of me so I did just that: sucked it up and went to go help the leech.

I went back into the employee room, dropped off my stuff, and hurried back to the front where I saw a truck sitting with the back door open. I headed outside, where the air was cool and crisp, and I shivered a bit, but shook it off. The sky was darkening, but it was only about four-thirty. Weird.

When I came to the back of the truck, I saw him. He was wearing some gray jeans with streaks of black on the seams and a white V-neck tee. I didn't want him to be scared by my presence, but then, I realized I didn't care. This was my job, why was I worrying about him? I went to the pile of books and was about to pick them up when I realized, I didn't know where to put them, but he did. I sighed loudly, already annoyed by the fact that I had to work alongside him.

"Hey." I called. He didn't reply.

"Hey!" I yelled, and he turned his head around to glare at me with those yellow eyes.

"What…do you want?" He said with a strained voice, as he was carrying a big box into the store. I was forced to follow him, and then open the door for him. I didn't like him, but I didn't want to be evil.

"I was just, um…" For some reason, words never seemed to come out right when I talked to him. "Wondering where we should put these books."

"In the store…?" he answered as if I were a special needs kid. This bothered me.

"Well, um, duh! I mean, where do the books go?" I hissed impatiently.

"Didn't you _see_ where I put them, smart one?" I was about to say something really slick when I caught Chris over by the back mouthing to me- "_Be nice!"_

I breathed in deeply, steadying myself, and looked to the growing pile: by the history section. I nodded and headed to the door.

I went back out and braced myself for the heavy lift, and heaved. My arms nearly broke off, but I went ahead, not wanting him to think I was weak. I was _not weak._

I took one turtle step at a time, while I saw him take another box bigger than this and breeze on ahead of me. I wanted to curse, but I just took the books, the soreness beginning to swell in my lower back.

I had almost made it to the section when I tripped over something hard and dropped the box to the floor with a loud _thud._ I fell alongside it, and sat there on the floor, in pain, and embarrassment. Soon, my face began to burn when he walked by, him looking at me with a strained expression. _Was he holding in… a laugh?_ I steamed. I was so mad, but I just got up and pushed the box the rest of the way.

In the time I had taken one box, he had done three.

I hurried back to the truck and ended up doing two more in a little less time. I got to the last one on the truck when Leland came back out.

"Do you… need some help?" he asked, looking almost sorry for me. Probably just annoyed.

"No," I grunted.

"You're gonna trip on a book..." I heard him say, exasperated, under his breath.

I was fine, I wasn't going to trip.

I headed back into the store, heaving the box to the back. I walked happily to the pile when my foot caught on something hard and I tripped... on a book, it turned out.

"What the...!" I said under my breath as I hissed in pain. I fell hard this time.

_Why did he have to jinks me?!_ I thought angrily to myself.

He walked by to the box, and set it in the pile.

"I told you…" he said, rolling his eyes.

Just as I was about to get up, I felt two hands come under my arms and pick me up.

"You're welcome." He said, not smiling. And then he walked away.

_That was weird…_I thought. I brushed myself off, went to the back, slid on my khakis, and went to go do my regular job: sort books and help people find things. I kept to myself, helped a couple of people find Romeo & Juliet, sorted, and then checked my phone. _7:52 PM_ , it read.

I headed into the employee room, grabbed my things, and was just about to come to... _thank_... Leland, when I realized he was gone. I looked around, and saw that he was nowhere to be found, the blue sports car absent from the parking lot.

_Phew! That saved me a lot of discomfort! _I thought, relieved.

I went out to my old Honda, slid the keys into the ignition once again, and drove back.

What had happened to day was very interesting, and it made me think of lots of things. I wondered what made Leland so, talkative, today. It was embarrassing, but at the same time, I was sort of glad today happened.

Leland was cute, I had to admit. He had dark blond hair and strong jawline, not to mention a nice body... and those eyes, different from any I'd ever seen. But most of the time... just couldn't stand him. And since today, I started, just by a little millimeter, to like him a _bit_ more. Or dislike him a bit less. And I was glad. I never really liked being on someone's hit list.

What the next week would hold, I didn't even know.

_**FIVE MONTHS LATER... **_TO BE CONTINUED.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was shining and the sky was a perfect baby blue, and as the birds chirped their beautiful spring song, I felt like singing along with them.

I had to be the luckiest girl in the world.

It was May of 2011, I was seventeen, I had received my driver's license last month, today was the last my junior year and Cassie was coming back next week. It seemed I was going to burst out of my very skin from the excitement.

Since December past, a lot of things happened.

At Books&Lattes, after a year and a half of working there non-stop I had been promoted to Assistant Manager, while sadly, Michael moved to North Carolina leaving me to assume the position he had called his own. Blanche still was faithful to that old place and continued to sort books and act as barista, even at the age of 69.

Leland was still there, though things seemed to be looking up, they soon went downhill. We were again at odd's end with one another, giving each other silent stares after an unpleasant event that happened between us, causing us to be even farther apart than before…

One Thursday afternoon back in February, I had driven into the bookstore parking lot, same as ever, grabbing that work polo and sliding it over my head, readying myself for another day at the store. I slipped out of my car, grabbing my bag and heading to the door when I heard my name waft over to my ears from a car nearby, I couldn't tell where it was coming from until I recognized the bored, blasé voice of my co-worker, Leland…

"Yeah, I know, don't you hate that?" he chuckled to the other person on the line.

There was a pause before he started again.

"Yeah, there's this girl at my job, her name's Etain… Yeah, it's weird. But anyway, I don't know, she's one of _those_ girls…. Hahaha!" he laughed and said with a meaningful tone. Whatever he was talking about, it didn't sound nice.

I wanted to walk away, hurt by his blatant disrespect, but my feet were suddenly plastered to the ground, willing me to hear the rest.

"… Yeah, if you met her, you'd think she was bipolar, happy one day, freakin' Medusa the next… yeah, but I'd stay away from _that_ if you want to keep your manhood," he laughed loudly.

It felt like an angry hole was ripped in my chest.

That caused the involuntary tears to blur my vision. It felt as if a fire blazed in the pit of my stomach, causing me to experience a burning hatred for the man that was sitting in that car. As I felt the anger pulse through, I felt indignant and suddenly self-conscious, wondering if this rush of emotions would be an example of what he claimed of me.

_No, _I thought defensively, _any girl would feel hurt by what he said. _

I reassured myself, trying to gather my thoughts, and tried to go into the store. But my feet wouldn't budge. I heard Leland say his last remarks as he hung up the phone and got out of his car. I heard the door slam and his footsteps draw nearer and nearer.

I was standing in a little corner that was in front of the store, hiding myself away, the anger and disappointment consuming me more with every step he took. He walked to the door, looked at me and jumped a little. He wasn't expecting this.

I looked at him with dark eyes, showing that I heard everything he said. He had a weird expression on his face, almost as if he were… scared? Nervous? I chuckled internally, satisfied with his fear.

That was the first day I hadn't come to work that year.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Nelaine's Note:**_

_**Okay, guys, this chapter gets a little steamy, you know, a little PG-13, but trust me, it will make the story all the better. No, not like **_**that.**

**Love ya! Please Read and Review, it makes me so happy!  
**

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* * *

  
**

That was the first day I hadn't come to work that year. I knew I was being dramatic in some ways, but I just didn't trust myself to be in the same vicinity as him. I cried, but not enough, and I still had that feeling where you need to let something out of you, something that would leave you and when it left, you would just _feel_ better. Like anger, or pain, or a yawn that struggles to get out of you. That's how I felt.

I gathered myself after a good half-hour and continued with my homework. After, I suddenly remembered that I could call my boyfriend, maybe even visit him, because I knew he'd be home, and since my mom was still at her job, I decided to give Avery a call.

Avery. Yes, Avery.

He always knew how to make me feel better.

I grabbed my phone off of my little IQEA desk, pressed four on my speed dial (my mom was 2 and Cass was 3) and let it ring.

Weird. Every time I called him, even though we'd been together for at least two months then, I felt the familiar feeling of frenzied butterflies in my stomach. I always had to lay down to talk to him, or else I'd probably fall over, dazed by his deep, mesmerizing voice.

I loved Avery. He was sweet, and gentle, and kind, and smart, just... everything I could've ever wanted in a guy. His jokes were the worst sometimes, but they were just so sweet sometimes I just couldn't resist him. He smelled delicious _all_ the time, even if he had just been running or working out, and I loved that. Not to mention he was _totally gorgeous, _a senior, and a _great_ kisser. He soothed me when I was sad, and the funny thing was, I could say all these things about him, and we'd only been together for little more than two months.

I let the phone ring, the regular buzzing sound, and finally, I heard the noise of the other line, making me immediately feel warm and happy inside.

"Hey," he said gently, his smooth voice lulling me into his hypnotic trance he placed on me, always.

"Hey," I returned.

"What's up, baby? You sound tired." His voice was inflected with concern, making me overflow with warmness. I nearly forgot why I called.

"Um, yeah, I just wasn't... feeling too well today... I was wondering if maybe... I could come over?" I said timidly, wondering what his response would be.

"Sure, babe, I'm not doing anything. You want to come over now?" he asked. I sighed inaudibly with relief, glad he had accepted.

"Yeah, if that's okay." I agreed.

We said our goodbyes and I grabbed my brown ankle boots, slipped them on and headed to my car. I was wearing some dark blue skinny jeans and a maroon, long sleeved cotton shirt. It was three in the afternoon, and my mom wouldn't be home till seven, so I had plenty of time.

Avery lived not far from me, his house a couple streets from mine. His house was regular sized, but it had a beautiful view of a lake behind it and a big front and back porch. I loved his house, because when I visited, it was always nice, the kind of neatness that feels like home, a house you can tell someone occupies... not like my house, not anymore.

I found myself driving the street to his home many times, us always watching a movie, doing homework together (since I took three of his courses) and just hanging out and being silly. His parents were usually out doing there jobs, but the few times that I met them, they were always very kind. They always had a smile on their faces, Avery's features highly noticeable in theirs.

I pulled into his driveway, and there was only his blue Volvo in the front, so I knew it would just be him and I.

_Him and I._

I thought about how that sounded, and suddenly, I became very aware that we'd be alone together. I had been alone in his house before, and we had kissed each other goodbye and hello and all that, but I never had this feeling before. Butterflies raged within me, writhing and beating against the walls of my stomach, creating quite a clamor. I took a deep breath and headed to the door.

_Why are you acting this way, Etain?_ I asked, annoyed with myself. I rung the doorbell and waited for an answer, trying to calm my heartbeat before it ran over 200.

I heard light footsteps approach and then the door opened, revealing my beautiful Avery.

He was dressed in a dark green V-neck and some black denim jeans that fit him so well. I immediately smiled when I saw him, and suddenly had the urge to kiss him all over.

"Hey," he said, a smile widening on his beautiful face.

"Hey," I smiled while I stepped in the door. Before I could slip my shoes and bag off, he pulled me into a deep embrace, slightly rocking me back and forth. I returned the hug fully, pulling him tight to me, closing any distance we had from one another. As he hugged me, I buried my face in his neck and mumbled, "I missed you."

"I missed you, too, babe." he returned, sending electric jolts of many indescribable emotions within me. As he pulled away, I looked up at him, my arm now around his waist, locking at the small of his back, while one of his hands was on my hip and another was at my cheek, stroking it softly. I smiled up at him, resting my chin softly at his chest.

"Why do you have to be so beautiful?" I asked. He smiled and shook his head.

"Not as beautiful as you, E. Not even close." he said, gently brushing a hair away from my face, making me blush, smile, and bury my face in his chest once more. I inhaled his scent and almost died, he smelled _so good._

"So what do you want to do today, love?" I loved it when he called me that. The truth was I really didn't want to do anything but look at him, be close to him and kiss his face. Suddenly, I had the urge to kiss every surface of his body, his soft chest pressing up against mine _definitely_ not helping.

"Um... let's watch a movie?" I mumbled softly.

"Sure," he said, compliantly. I walked over to his big, soft, sectional sofa that sat in front of a big TV, and plopped down comfortably, while he knelt down and opened a drawer beneath in the TV set, where all his DVDs were.

"What do you want to watch?" he asked.

"Umm... I don't know..." I wondered. I hopped over to where he was, and then looked through, not seeing anything I was in the mood for. Then I saw Titanic.

"Hey, let's watch this!" I offered. Then I realized he was a guy, and he probably didn't want to watch that old romantic movie. My face fell with understanding.

"Oh, I mean, we don't have to watch it, I mean, I understand if you don't want to..." I said, slowly motioning to put the movie back, but then he grabbed my hand.

"No, it's okay, we can watch it. I'll watch it with you if it makes you happy," he said with a gentle smile.

"Are you sure...?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, just put it in before I change my mind," he sad with a devilish smile, poking my ribs and making me squeak with laughter.

I giggled, and put the movie in, and went back to the couch. He followed, sitting on the long part while I sat on the short, pulling my legs up to my chest. We sat where the couch hitched up to make a the sectional, and so I laid my head back on his warm chest, while he stretched his arm around me. I was so comfortable, yet I was hyper aware of his beating heart beneath me, and our closeness to each other.

The movie began, and I snuggled up to him, while he pulled me closer, continuing to lessen the distance between us. Suddenly, I was no longer able to concentrate on the characters on screen; I could only feel the heat of Avery roll onto me, comforting me... and doing other things to me.

The movie progressed on, and I couldn't help but look up at Avery more than a couple of times. When I did, he looked down and smiled at me, planting a kiss on my forehead. When he did, I just _bubbled_ amorously with warmth and amity.

Slowly, Avery began to rub my arm soothingly with his fingers. My skin felt like it was on fire and my heart sped up as he did this to me absentmindedly. He had no idea.

I tried with all my might to concentrate on the movie, but when I looked at the screen, I suddenly froze.

We were at the scene where Jack begins to draw Rose, naked, a totally loving and sensual scene. Suddenly, I felt myself snuggle closer to Avery, this new found courage surprising me. I felt Avery tense beneath me, but then relax again, his heart rate seeming to accelerate for a moment.

Then, without warning, I grabbed Avery's other hand that laid in his lap and covered it with mine. I held it close to me, loving the sensation that he gave me, just knowing we could be together this way. Then, he moved his fingers between mine, so we clasped each others' hands softly. His fingers were long and soft, while mine's were thin and slender, our hands seeming to mold together. He began kneading my shoulder with his thumb, causing me to melt in his arms.

I laid back against him, and he pulled me even closer, finally closing all distance we had in-between.

"You're so soft..." he whispered into my ear, sending me over the edge, the vibrations transferring through his body to mine. I just had to kiss him.

I turned a bit so I was half-facing him, and I craned my neck, aiming to kiss his lips, but instead I got his neck, which wasn't bad at all.

I felt his chest vibrate more deeply as my lips made contact with his baby soft skin. I kissed up, and up, until I met his jawline, admiring his strong bone structure. He sighed almost inaudibly, but I could feel it on my chest, as I leaned more confidently into him.

"You're so beautiful," I mumbled into his skin, kissing every surface I could reach.

"Etain..." he growled hungrily, which made me want to kiss him even more, setting off a beast inside of me. Then, Avery pulled himself gently up and sat towards me, so now my legs draped over his lap and I could finally gain access to his full lips. I laid my arms around his neck, while one of his hands laid on my hip, rubbing softly, and the other stroked my hair. He smiled at me, looking me in the eyes, his pupils seeming to darken with... with... lust? Hunger? I suddenly felt my stomach tighten with excitement and a need for our lips to touch. I leaned in, and I saw he was no longer smiling, but he was looking all over me, making me blush deeply, my face growing hotter every second.

"Come here," he growled, and soon there was no more room for word as his lips met mine.

It was the most amazing sensation I could've ever felt. I tightened my arms around him, opening my palm and letting my fingers travel the nape of his neck, around his shoulder, and through his silky hair.

_Oh_, his_ hair_. I couldn't get _enough_ of his silky strands that flowed over my fingers, deepening my want for him. He made an _mmm_ing sound as my fingers roamed him. His hand suddenly traveled up my side, down... until his hand rested just at the small of my back, his hands touching my bare skin. I sighed with content as he continued making this more dangerous.

His lips moved over mine smoothly and deftly as he explored my lips. I sighed again, loudly, involuntarily as my body began to take over.

He used this as an opportunity to slip his tongue on to my lower lips, opening a whole new level of pure bliss. I wasn't experienced with this, and I didn't know what to do with it, but of course I knew how. Ironically, as Avery let up for air, he said, quite breathlessly,

"Where did...you... you learn... to kiss like this?"

He looked over me with amazed eyes, and soon he returned to my mouth, the few seconds of absence from my lips being to much for both of us. I granted him entrance, and soon he began to explore my mouth with his soft tongue. I played with his tongue, as we wrestled playfully, and his hand traveled to my waist, squeezing and releasing as if he didn't know what to do.

This was getting dangerous.

I moaned into his mouth, and I could tell he was about to say something when suddenly, the doorbell rang and he sighed, and we stopped. I pouted, but then he kissed my lips, while he let his fingers slide over my thigh as he continued to the door, sending shivers down my spine.

He answered it, and it was one of those people who advertise for their college funds and ask you to sign up for some weird thing so they can get $20,000. He smiled politely, patiently listening, quietly declined the offer and shut the door, turning back to me. He joined me once again on the couch, sitting close to me, grabbing my hand and covering me with kisses on my cheek... my jaw... my neck...

Soon, he traveled down to my collarbone and began unbuttoning the front of my shirt, weakening me. I wanted him... _so bad_... but in my heart I knew we had to stop.

"Avery..." I sighed.

Laying my hand on his chest, attempting to push him away, but failed. He slowed a bit, but didn't stop, planting his kisses on my chest, traveling lower...

"Avery." I said louder, pushing with what I had, against his chest, making him look up at me with a confused pout on his face.

"What, baby? Don't... don't you like it? Are you... not ready?' he asked, sadness clearly shown on his features.

"No, baby," I said, realizing I was a bit breathless. "I _love _it... _so much_... I just... think we should wait..." I said. "I want it," I said, a blush rising to my cheeks, "really, _really _bad. But I don't think now is the time..." I said, looking apprehensively into his eyes, wondering what he would say. I really wanted it to be special for us, if and when we did _it._

He sighed, as a look of understanding faded over him. He didn't look mad... he just looked.... a little let down.

I didn't want him to be upset. Was he upset with me? I didn't know, and it worried me.

"Alright, babe...alright. I don't want to rush you into anything... okay?" he said, looking questioningly into my eyes.

"O... okay..." I said, hugging him to my body, allowing our bodies to be as close together as I could get them.

"And Avery?" I asked into his chest.

"Yeah, babe?" he replied.

"You know I love you, right?" I said, purring into his strong hold.

"Me, too, baby, me too..." he said, pulling me closer into him, almost making my heart burst with love.

I pulled away, and kissed him while he sweetly kissed me back his lips connecting with mine.

I retreated, smiled at him, and went to the front door, slipping on my flat Ugg-like ankle boots.

"Bye, love." he said, looking at me with a longing I so wanted to satisfy, but couldn't. Not now, anyway.

"Bye... my Avery." I said, as I placed one last kiss on his cheek, turned and headed out the door as he rubbed his head and reached out for me, his hand sliding down my back and butt, sending shivers down my spine. I turned to him, reached out for his hand, and let it slide until our hands came apart.

I headed out the door, which gently closed behind me, waved bye again, and went to my car.

The air was cold and crisp, raising goosebumps on every surface of my skin. I hurriedly walked to my car and closed the door, grabbing my favorite scarf from the back and wrapping it around my neck. I looked at Avery once more from his window, and I saw him motion, "Call me," with his hand.

I nodded, and backed out of his driveway and made it home just before seven...

That was in February, and since we first got together, it had been five months. Now, though, lately, Avery has been more and more distant, disconnected. And it worried me.

Today was Avery's graduation. I went to the ceremony, and watched him do his speech and everything.

I couldn't believe he was leaving me. I couldn't believe he was going away to college. I was sad, but at the same time, I was happy.

After he had made his speech, someone asked me where the bathroom was, and I quickly told them where it was, not wanting to miss a second of my love's ceremony; an important thing in his life.

When I turned my head back to look at my Avery again, I didn't see him. I saw a tall redhead girl with glasses, being honored by the principal in a white graduation gown.

_Must be the valedictorian,_ I evaluated. I searched all around for Ave, but he was nowhere to be found.

The ceremony ended, and I decided to go looking for him. I looked around in the now deserted hallways, in the AV room, the cafeteria… I even checked in the art room, Avery's fave place to be.

He wasn't anywhere.

Then, I realized I hadn't checked in the gym locker rooms, and decided to look there.

_He has got to be here…_I thought anxiously.

I walked through the archway that led to the gym offices, and peeked into the boy's locker room, scanning around.

_Nothing?_ I thought, very disappointed.

Then, I felt a hole being punched in my chest. I couldn't breathe… I couldn't _breathe…_

I couldn't believe my eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Oh, my God… h-h-how?

I could feel my heart being pierced and broken in half and stomped on, all at once.

_How…how could he? _  
I let my burning eyes wander over the scene as I silently crumpled inside...

I looked at her legs, draped graciously over him, skirt riding up to the hip. I looked at her hair, flowing black over shoulder blades. I saw the rhythmic motion at which they were moving, as he struggled to undo the clasp of bra, which I now saw was a sunflower yellow. I saw how his lips moved over hers, and how… that had just been me and him. I saw her comb her fingers through his long, silky hair that was no longer mine. Avery wasn't mines anymore.

As I let that stir inside my mind, I didn't realize the strangled sob that escaped my throat, and wasn't quick enough to retreat and hide myself away before he saw me.

His head snapped up in an instant, and the girl turned her head to look at me. It felt as if her eyes burned right through me.

"E… Etain…" he choked breathlessly. The same look he had looked at me with just a few months ago was just directed at her, a supposedly loving, lustful look that I thought only belonged to me. I felt a tear fall down my cheek before I could stop it.

"Who's this?" the girl asked, looking at him with impatience written all over her features, as if I was the secondary person here. But of course I was. How long had they been…well, doing this?

I couldn't take it anymore. I walked out of the locker room, and as I did, I could hear him mumble something that sounded like _Ah, fuck._

My eyes blurred with tears that felt like acid, and the images before me all melded into one indisputable statement.

_It was over. _

Why? Why? My chest began to ache and lungs began to shrink as the gym walls started to close in on me.

_It was over… it was over… it was over._

The statement kept repeating itself until I felt sick to my stomach. All of a sudden, I felt… so lonely.

I ran into the nearest bathroom and shut myself into one of the stinky stalls, trying desperately to catch my breath, which was then coming out in labored gusts of air, noisily ringing off the bathroom walls.

Finally, the stall's spinning slowed down, and I was able to pick myself back up again.

I slowly unlatched the door and looked into the mirror ahead of me. I was a mess.

My hair was gross, my brown and blonde side bang clinging to the skin of my forehead, which was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. My eyes were red-rimmed, and the front of my red long sleeved T-shirt was sprinkled in tears. I quickly grabbed a few paper towels and wiped my brow and pulled my hair back into a ponytail that was decent. I looked at myself once more and felt like bursting out in tears all over again. I couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness and abandonment.

_He… cheated,_ I thought painfully as new tears began to roll down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them away.  
I felt so… betrayed, so… disgusted. How _could _he? What if we had actually… went all the way? How many other girls had he… ugh! I didn't want to think about it. Resentment and misery came over me again, and the wave hit with the force of a thousand storms, nearly knocking me over. I had to get out of here, I had to leave, and I couldn't let anyone see me like this. I was the example of the school, what if anyone saw me like this…?! I darted to my locker and grabbed my things, quickly racing to the front door and away, away from here.

I rushed to the door of my old car, which was the only comfort I had left in the world, and pulled myself in, shut the door harshly, and sat. Finally, the pain was too much, and letting myself yield to it, I wept. I cried harder than I had when my father died. I had more capacity now, more understanding of pain. The hurt, the heartbreak now had more depth, had more dimensions to it.

Back when I was a little girl, I loved my father more than anything in the world; I was his little blossom. But when I was four, I didn't really understand what was happening when my mother received the news and broke down right in front of me, the life seeming to drain out from her eyes, all her happiness seeming to pool at the ground, her tears. All I knew then was that Daddy was going away and never coming back. I knew enough to feel pain I didn't understand, knowing I'd miss my father dreadfully. He had loved me so much, and he had done everything with me, even though he was extremely busy with other things, as he had been the CEO of his electronics company at only twenty-six.

He died so young... Sometimes, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like… to have him here. If only I could run home and cry into his arms, telling him how Avery had broken my heart, and my Dad would hold me, comfort me, tell me everything was going to be fine, and he loved me just the way I was, and he would never, ever leave me…

My tears flowed harder as I realized that I would never get him back… that I would never have a father again. I felt so cold without his arms around me, as I desperately tried to hold on to the memories of my father and I together… but it was all slipping away, slowly, day by day, week by week, month by month.

It must have been at least an hour before my tears slowed and my eyes began to deflate from their puffiness. I recollected myself. As I gathered my thoughts, another wave hit me. A wave of dread.

_Oh no, my _job_!_ I moaned silently, worriedly. I roughly shoved my keys in the ignition and went into automatic mode as I forced myself to head out of the school parking lot and out onto the old dusty, unpaved road that lie between the school and the bookstore. Away I went… but what would await me there?


	7. Chapter 7

I still hadn't gotten used to being Assistant Manager, and realized that I had even more responsibility accounted to me since my old position. All I really wanted to do was go home and sleep and eat ice cream and watch an Adam Sandler movie, but I forced myself to drive my car until that old familiar flickering _Books&Lattes _sign coasted into view. I sighed as I slowly parked into a spot a little ways off from the normal, not wanting the usual place where people would spot me out and flock towards me with questions that still were unanswered. Although I loved it to death, I hated my job.

Slowly, I yanked the polo over my head, over my red tee, and heaved myself up out of the low seat. I walked to the entrance, and was passing between two cars when I noticed Leland's figure not far in the distance, heading towards… me? Oh no, he couldn't be… he was?!

I so didn't need the drama, but my feet froze in their place.

_Oh, great…_I groaned internally. He would think I was even _more bipolar_ since my eyes must have been terribly inflamed, _apparently_ for no reason. He just didn't know.

Finally, he came into sight, a bit hesitantly, and walked up to me, an aberrant shy look on his face.

"Hey, Etain… what's going on?" he asked conversationally.

What in the…? A couple of seconds ago I wasn't feeling up to it, a little scared by his totally uncharacteristic hospitality, but strangely, I felt compelled to be a little nicer to him. _So, so weird. _  
"Noth- …a lot." I phrased. "Why the sudden… urge to be kind?" I asked, a little acid seeping into my voice, my voice cracking from the last fit of tears.

"Yeah, well, um… I wanted to say… _sorry._" He answered, his dignity level seeming to lower by an inch.

I chuckled in disbelief. _Was he really…?_

"I'm sorry, you what?" I pushed, not believing my ears.

"I said… I'm sorry, for… all the crap I spit out a few months ago. I didn't mean it… and… for everything else, too. I just, well, I don't know if it even had a real reason to it." He laughed, as if he thought it was funny.

I paused. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I never thought I'd live to see it. Something inside of me clicked, the little me hidden deep within, the person that actually longed to put away my differences with Leland, and get over. She had been smothered by the much bigger me, the one filled with resentment and irritation, but I could feel her growing inside. I could feel that things were going to change. I looked up at him once again and saw something: a new friendship. I finally felt like we could make this alliance work, even after what he'd done. He seemed pretty sincere, the first real tint to his cheeks I'd seen, ever.

Then, I was annoyed.

"…If it had a real _reason_ to it? Of course it did! You never wanted to talk to me! Or smile, for that matter…" I growled impatiently.

"What? _You _never wanted to talk to _me!_ Of course I wasn't just going to walk up and look likes an idiot! I didn't know if you liked me or not! I mean, you were the one seeming to frown all the time!" He argued.

"Well, that's just dumb, because if I remember, _you _were the one being all rude the first day I applied here! What was I going to do?" I spat back.

"The first day you applied here… wow. I don't even remember that… oh, wait… you mean… you remember that?" He asked incredulously, his deep voice, which I now realized was actually very attractive, rose up an octave.

"Well, yeah!" I defended. Suddenly, his tenor seemed to slow a bit, and he answered now with a sense of calm, as I continued to look at my feet.

"I was only mad that day because… because…"

I glanced up and saw a distant look come over him as he unexpectedly grabbed onto the car behind me for support, seeming dizzy all of a sudden.

"Leland…Leland are you okay?" I asked, distressed.

Suddenly, he shook his head as if he were coming out of a trance, and looked directly into my eyes, piercing me with his burning yellow irises of his.

"Move. We have to move. Now!" he commanded, as he pulled me roughly to him, and rushed the both of us to the door of the store, his arm guiding me to a little nook that rested just by the entrance of the store.

I was scared and confused, not knowing what was going on.

"Leland, what's happening?" I begged for him to let me know.

"Cover your eyes! Just do it, now!" I did what I was told and shielded myself with my bag as he pulled me closer to him. I felt a moan in his chest tickle my cheek as he seemed to brace himself for whatever was coming, our bodies now sunken to the ground, curling up to each other.

First there was unimaginable, eerie silence. Nothing could've been happening, I mean, what was going on in Leland's head to make him think something was-

But just before I could finish my thought and even move towards removing my bag from over my face, I heard the sound of accelerating tires and metal, screeching against each other, a roaring sound. Next, wheels sliding noisily against concrete, struggling to brake. Then, a deafening crash, an explosion that blew against us with the force of a tornado, and debris hitting us like angry birds, cutting, scraping, relentlessly bringing pain to every surface of exposed skin, hit us with amazing force. The glass of the store pre-section burst behind us, and it all happened in a few seconds.

Finally, things quieted from what they were, but it was no where near peaceful. I slowly, shakily looked from behind my canvas bag and Leland's arm around me to see a horrid, shocking sight: A large, red van, now in the shape of a deformed, twisted accordion, pieces of metal and rubber burning in a large blazing fire, and a teenage guy laying unconscious, trapped in a driver's seat that was half-way out of the car, halfway wedged in the door. His body lay limply amongst the burning, cackling car parts.

He was dead.

I felt a shrieking sob erupt from my torso as I registered what I was seeing: a nightmarish car accident come to life, a true horror movie, and my body only shook harder with noisy bawling when I realized it had been exactly where Leland and I had been standing.

Exactly.

The cuts and scrapes on my arm that were now beginning to sting suddenly seemed like nothing in comparison to what could've become my fate.

I pushed my head deeper into Leland's chest, probably soaking his shirt, as he pulled me closer, and the fire raged louder and louder, quickly consuming the innocent boy who lay inside. I couldn't stop crying. It was something I'd hoped to never see in my life, unraveling right before my eyes. And Leland and I had almost been the ones dead, along with the driver. Almost… but Leland… _saved us._

Just as I was about to worry myself about it, I heard screams of terror, and loud shouts as people came to stare at the accident, phones quickly flying open do dial 911. Soon, Leland slowly pulled me up to my feet, my legs feeling like jelly, and lifted me up, guiding me to the side of the bookstore to stay out of the way, as he dialed a number at light speed and raised it to his ear.

"Are you okay?" he inquired, concern written on his face.

"No." I blubbered honestly, my voice sounding high with tears again, turning my face into his chest again, not wanting to direct my eyes to the horror that was in front of us. There was just too much drama, too much crying in one day for me.

The blaze in the fire roared fiercely, a cloud of black smoke rising up slowly from the heap of metal, the heat flushing Leland's face. We backed up a little.

I heard him mumble something hurriedly to whoever he was talking to, and felt his arms tighten around me, an amazingly comforting position. Why was he being so… kind to me? Most guys would be awkward in this situation, but he was impressively deft and comfortable in this stressed situation. It was just what I needed in my time of pain. I appreciated the softness and warmth of his chest, and tried to push out everything else, needing to calm myself.

Finally, the yell of fire truck sirens rushed closer and louder to the scene, and soon men were shouting and giving orders, taking control of the situation.

_What a day… what a _freaking _day…_ I thought exasperatedly… exhausted.

Soon, I gathered my emotions once again, pulled out my cell phone, and dialed my mom to let her know what happened and that I was safe, while I stayed close to Lee. She sounded worried, and told me she was coming home right now, and for me to get home quickly, to meet her there.

I explained to Leland that I had to go, but before I did, I thanked him.

"… For everything, for _saving my life._" I said, gratified.

"No problem…" he said calmly. How was it that he set that calm look over himself in this craziness?

I smiled gratefully, and then, with a sudden burst of nerve that surprised us both, I hugged him tightly. I felt him pause for only a millisecond, then return it with a quick, strong squeeze of his arm around me. It was only for a moment, though, and soon I left, rushing to my car and leaving from an exit I could just barely get through because of all the commotion. The face of the boy, who seemed about my age, was still plastered in my mind. I shook with terror, hoping to never, _ever_ see something like that again.

As my car seemed to creep slowly towards home, rather than actually drive at the speed I wanted, I let my mind wander over the incident.

_I had… nearly died…_ I thought, chilled to the bone.

After reviewing everything, I absentmindedly went back to the scene directly before the accident, when a revelation question hit me.

How had Leland known to get us out of the way… and what was that little space out moment before he lead us to the direct spot of safety? If we had run into the store, we wouldn't have had enough time to make it inside before all the glass shattered onto us, probably piercing us through. If we had run the opposite direction, we would've been hit with the large pieces of debris that flew from the collision. How had he known to time and plan it so perfectly? And that silence before it… there was no way…

I couldn't get this puzzling question out of my mind, quietly going over it again and again in my head, trying to find a way to make it create sense… but it just didn't.

But I wouldn't worry myself about it then, I had enough drama going on in my life at the moment.

Finally, I drove quickly through the community of houses and arrived at my driveway, pulling up and hurriedly going inside.

"Mom!" I yelled, anxious to hear her voice, still shaken up by the past events.

"…Sweetie!" she greeted anxiously as she ran down the stairs in a rush, her voice raising up a couple octaves in that motherly way. She pulled me into a tight hug, rocking me back and forth, mumbling different things about how worried she'd been and how she'd make me some tea and other nurturing things. Giving back the hug with all I had left, her hug unexpectedly started the waterworks all over again.

This was going to be a record; I had to have broken down at least five times today, and soaked at least two people's shirts.

"Oh, honey…" she cooed, attempting to console me, rubbing my back as I just stood limp in her arms, soaking up all the love I could get; I sure knew I was lacking some.

She let me go, as I set down my bag and walked over to the couch, plopping down with the weight of fatigue, and lying down, stuffing my favorite, giant down pillow under my head and looking up. I saw my mother bustling in the kitchen, making some tea and bringing out some gingerbread cookies, her guilty pleasure as well as mine. Even though my father was gone, and even though my mother was nearly _always_ at work, when she was home, and in Mom mode, she was pretty amazing.

Soon, the tea began to simmer and whistle, she poured me a cup, and we talked, as she took a spot next to me on the couch.

My mom sat as I relayed all of today's events on her, trying to keep the explanation under two hours. She just nodded and shook her head knowingly, with the occasional _mhm_ and _uh-huh. _ I tried to tell her all of this at a low level, not trusting my voice, because when I told her what happened between me and Avery, my voice shook dangerously, and I had to take a few steadying breaths as she gasped with unbelief and apologized over and over again, as if it were her fault. As if Dad's death was her fault. Sometimes, I feel she takes the blame for many things in life that weren't hers to take, and she just doesn't know how to live anymore, since our father's absence.

After I finished informing her of everything that happened that day, I laid myself back down again, fully taking in all that had happened.

All I ever really wanted to happen this summer was to hang with my boyfriend, now _ex-_boyfriend, and go some cool places together, and read… but I guess that just wasn't happening. Exasperated with my life at the moment, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine a nice little valley with a rainbow in the distance and happy little animals prancing joyfully around. If only that was my life, a life of bliss. Even though I wasn't getting that, not even close, I couldn't complain. It wasn't like it was boring anymore. I let my mind wander to the farthest and most remote corners of my thoughts until my mother's voice faded back into my awareness.

"… and, honey, you really have been through quite a lot. I trust you, and that's why this summer I'm going to let you go anywhere you want, anywhere, expenses paid by your won hard work." She said a slight smile in her voice.

I shot up abruptly.

"What?" I breathed.

"Yes, you heard right. I'm letting you, after so many _years of waiting_ on your part, go anywhere you want in the world."

My heart stopped. I mean, it literally stopped at that second.

"Mom…" I breathed gratefully as I pulled her in for a death hug. "Oh, Mom! Even… even Milan?" I said optimistically.

"I said anywhere, didn't I?" she returned.

I squealed with excitement as things slowly but surely seemed to be moving towards the better. I couldn't believe it. At last, things seemed to be going in one direction: forward.

It was nearing eight o' clock, and finally, I headed up to bed, planting an enthusiastic kiss on my mother's cheek, took a shower and went to bed, plopping down appreciatively onto my soft bed, feeling more like heaven every second as my head sunk lower and lower into the pillow. I let my thoughts dissipate until I drifted into unconsciousness much needed.


	8. Chapter 8

The mist of the morning was milky and white and dim, and the air in my room was cool and light. I slowly lifted my eyelids and faded into consciousness, while I felt a yawn push itself out of my chest as I propped myself up on one elbow. The warm, beige color on my bedroom wall was a field of wheat, swaying back and forth, and I rubbed my eyes, trying to eliminate the dizziness when I remembered everything in a rush. The car accident... the break-up... the traveling... Leland's kindness... It all gave me a headache, and so I decided to head downstairs and pour myself some cereal, the ultimate aid in alleviating all my stress.

Walking downstairs, I smelled something different about the house... There was a certain warmth in the air, and the unfamiliar scent of eggs and ham wafted into my nostrils.

_Eggs and ham?_ I thought.

Skipping the last two bottom steps of the stairs, I swung around into the kitchen and saw something incredibly alarming. My mom.

"Mom!" I said cheerfully. "Wha-what are you doing here?"

"What, you don't want your good ole mom here in the mornings?" She said mock hurt.

"No! It's just that, well, you're never here! What's going on?" I asked, shifting my weight over to one foot and cocking my head to one side.

"Well, I realized that I hadn't taken any sick days off in nearly _two_ years," she began, "and, since my daughter's going through so much lately, not to mention it's the end of your _school year_, I decided that... I actually wanted to spend a little time with you, honey." She said sweetly, pinching my cheek and kissing it.

While I should have been annoyed by this motion, I had actually savored the moment. My mom and I rarely have time together, leaving little opportunity for us to exchange any kind of basic interaction. Sometimes, it seems as if we'd become two strangers sharing a roof, only connected by the simple fact that I'm her daughter and she's my mother. I smiled gently, hugging her swiftly and running over to the stove.

"Mm, omelets… ham… hash browns… English muffins?! Wow, Mom, you really went all out…" I said gratefully, my saliva glands working overtime.

"Food's ready, hon." She said, pulling out some green plates and setting them on the counter.

We said a quick prayer and dished out the food. Eating what my mother cooked was a treat. The sweet and salty, soft and crunchy, warm and delicious compilation of the chow seemed like an overwhelming wake-up call. All my senses seemed to be set off, like I'd been living my life in gray scale and suddenly I was in Technicolor. I hadn't had such food in over a year, seeming to always retreat to the basic military food I'd exiled myself to, never really getting the good food from a mom's hand. I finished in a flash, sucking down my food in a totally unflattering way; I wouldn't want anyone to know I ate like this when I was as hungry as a rabid dog (well, except for Cassie. I didn't really care if she knew.)

My mom quietly excused herself after finishing her food, after her Blackberry tinkled quietly upstairs. She made a little half-run half-walk up the steps, her footsteps finally receding into silence.

I glanced at the microwave clock, seeing the green letters glow _12:02 PM._ I strolled over into the living room, across and through an archway from the kitchen, and plopped down on the fluffy, brown couch that sat in front of the TV.

The sun in the window poured angelically into the large living room, onto the stony tile floor, creating a river of light below my feet. The scene and the colors of the living room reminded me of old castles in Spain or Italy, the house seeming to hold a history stretching back thousands of years, the tile floor creating the illusion of a foreign country. I watched as the glass of the window altered the shape of the light, twisting, turning, morphing it into different, alien-like shapes, the luminosity dancing to a silent song that floated through the room.

I laid my head back on the left arm of the couch, letting my thoughts take their proper place, and begin to flutter restlessly about in the confines of my skull. I let my body relax against the calm setting of afternoon, letting the couch engulf me until I was inside my mind, walking around in the hallway of my mind...

_I opened a large, old, red door, chipped at the edges. It was surrounded by black darkness, and it seemed to warp and grow in my peripheral, but return to a proper shape when I looked at the edges directly. I turned the rusted knob and was horrified to see a large van, burning in the middle of a large, black room. Fire was snaking around the metal parts of the mass while large, gray billows of smoke rose up, up, up and out of sight, melding into the backdrop of the room. I walked closer to the burning scene, looking for a missing part. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but I knew something was missing… if only it would reveal itself…_

_As soon as the thought passed through my mind, I suddenly heard faint, tapping footsteps surface from behind the quiet noise of the burning fire. I looked feverishly around me, when I suddenly saw a foot come from behind the van, followed by a slender leg, clothed in some black, faded jeans and a red shirt with spots of white at the shoulders. I lifted my eyes to the face of this individual and thought my very chest was caving in as my breathing accelerated. I heard a gasp fill the room. It was my own._

_The small, innocent face of the teenage boy I saw lying limp in the mass of destruction was connected to this slight body. His hair was unusually clean and shiny brown and his face was smooth and slightly tanned. He looked clean and untouched. The red of his shirt seemed to reflect pink in his face._

_Why was he here? How was he… alive?_

_My mind flashed agitatedly from thought to thought, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. Suddenly, the heat of the car was affecting me, making my face and neck uncomfortably hot. Suddenly, a dry, even voice filled the room, over the cackle of the fire, clear as a bell._

_"I'm dead now, you know. Why didn't you save me?" His face was etched with perceptible anger, suddenly, and his body was betraying the emotion of… disappointment? Letdown?_

_Words never came to me as I choked on my speech; a sudden, irrational feeling of guilt overtook me. __Why didn't I save him? "I-I…"_

_"Hmm?" He continued, his words seeming to chip away at my chest. "Why didn't your little boyfriend save me? You know he could've done it… you know it… you know it…" His words faded into oblivion as he suddenly began to scream, his hands covered in a deep, red liquid._

_His shirt was originally white._

I shot straight up. I woke to a sticky dampness, sweat, on my back and neck, dim living room, the TV going quietly. The house was quiet, but not still.

I heard light footsteps upstairs, a muffled creaking of an opening door, and a latch clicking shut. Mom was still here.

As I sat up, I rubbed the back of my neck absently, only to be left with a damp palm coated with a film of sweat. _How long was I asleep? _I thought worriedly.

I walked slowly over to the kitchen, the cool, stony texture of tile beneath my feet a refreshing feeling. I squinted at the clock, then felt my eyes widen involuntarily. _6:34 PM? _I moaned internally.

_How… how could that be? _I was shocked and displeased at how long I'd slept, immediately thinking about all the other things I could've done with my time…

But I wouldn't think about that then. I slowly traveled the length of the pathway from the kitchen island to the landing of the staircase, delicately planting my feet on the lush carpet of the stairs and walking slothfully up the spiraling road, awaiting the soft, cool and appropriate feel of my bed, versus the awkward way I had laid in on the sofa. The increasing stiffness in my neck was proof of that.

I knew that the dream wouldn't leave me. I just had that feeling... it was something I would, unfortunately, never forget. The black, the red, the heat of the dream all felt so real, in a way that was shockingly unpleasant.

I opened my bedroom door at the end of dark hallway, fumbling with the knob before taking a few Bigfoot-like steps and falling face-first into the bed, savoring the coolness and sweet, sweet relaxation kicking in, muting all of my senses. I was unusually tired, and even though i had just slept for about six hours, the dream was very exhausting, causing me to drift into drowsiness with unusual ease.

I let my mind wind down, allowing my eyes roll back underneath my eyelids, while I saw infinitesimal geometric shapes swirl and twirl and grow in my blind vision, until they enticed me into an alien sleep, a trance I'd missed for what seemed like eternity. Dreams never came to me that night.

Once morning arrived, it was then that I only just realized that school was over. I was getting up, brushing my teeth, grabbing my book bag when it hit me: I wouldn't be seeing the inside of that school until I was a senior.

_A senior_.

The sound of the word reverberated in my mind until it highly resembled the word doom.

My mind wandered over the last few depressing days of my junior year… the shocking discovery of Avery's clandestine relationship with this mystery woman. I wondered how long it would've gone on, had I not found them out…

An unfamiliar bile rose in my throat, as my face began to heat up impenetrable anger when I pondered longer over the situation.

The angel on my shoulder tried, quite weakly, to console my growing resentment, as the devil egged me on, telling me I had the _right_ to be angry.

I sighed, stopping myself in the middle of my thoughts, not wanting to further disappoint myself.

I looked to lighter things, and it was amazing that there were any left. I looked at my once opposing acquaintance with Leland, now developing into new found amity. _What's to become of this new jewel dug up from the rough?_ I thought.

Setting my book bag idly down on high chair at the island and removing my cardigan and flats, I sauntered over to the living room, filled with beige, morning light, sand sat down on the sofa once again. I shivered as the texture of the couch beneath brought memory of the nightmare back to me.

I ran my hands through my chaotic hair and pushed open my laptop that sat lonely on the coffee table. I turned it on, hearing the fan hum its unmusical tune. The little melody cheeped innocently as the computer started up. I quickly jabbed in my password and the screen changed to a black and white picture of a large tree, stretching up and up, beyond what the desktop could reveal. I sighed once; double-clicking the Safari icon and watching it explode on the screen.

Typing in Gmail on the little white bar, I sat and watched as it loaded swiftly and my e-mail popped in. I got a few messages from Books & Lattes, notifying me of some new sales and deals. After deleting those from my inbox, I checked for any new messages from Cassie, but found none.

Zero.

It was odd that she was choosing to stay silent for the last remaining days she had in Spain. Usually, we'd e-mail each other at least once a month, sending each other the latest news and unbosoming concerning our lives. It seemed as if we were on different planets, a manifesting chasm forming rapidly between us, even though she was just 3,000 miles away. I had e-mailed her the news on my break-up with Avery and had still heard nothing from her.

_I guess she's just extra busy with packing and saying bye to her friends… _I thought, trying weakly to console my worry. Something, just underneath the surface, though, was disturbing me. It felt as if… something wasn't right. But I was sure it was my imagination, so I ignored my intuition and continued scrolling down the cornfield of e-mails that still went unanswered.

Then, suddenly, I noticed a message with no pictures, no hyperlinks, and it was from an unknown sender. I opened the message from _MotherMan276._

_Hello, there. I have something you want, something you need. If you want it, you'll have to reply to this message and I'll change your life. Forever. Well, goodbye. For now. _

_ Signed,_

_ MotherMan276_

Ugh. Stupid spammers, they have no life. I quickly exited the e-mail and went over my papers again, looking at my completed work from the past. I sighed into my hands and laid back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling and wondering how my life had become so chaotic.

Out of the blue, I remembered it was Thursday, which meant I had work today. It was 2:00 PM.

I decided I would come in early.

I ran upstairs, entering my room and changing quickly from my school outfit to my work uniform, black skinny jeans and blue work polo.

I texted my mom, telling her I was at work, and strolled over to the car in the driveway, lowering myself in and driving towards my destination.

I watched the road with an unbreakable concentration, slowing down immediately after each light turned yellow, noticing every line in the road, remembering to put on my turn signal _every_ time I turned. I stopped at the end of the long, dirt road when I realized what I was seeing i the distance. Yellow tape, pick-up trucks, people standing around in a tense circle, discussing something of great importance…

I totally forgot.

After the accident, the crash had left complete destruction to the front side of the store, leaving more money for Chris to have to pay for repair, rather the cost for rent and other things that needed attention. A sudden cool, unpleasant feeling rose up to my throat, constricting my lungs and heart, making my pulse quicken and my breathing accelerate. I parked my car a ways off from the bustle, and walked the rest of the way there.

Seeing this destruction caused me a pain I couldn't explain. This was my second home, ever since I was in middle school. It had served that role for nearly a half a decade. What if… what if… this was the last straw?

Since this bookstore was not a widely owned chain, it was always on the edge of not being able to survive in the harsh economic world. This was financially and literally – a big hit.

Suddenly, I saw Chris's tall, lean figure over the rest of the team of people, dwarfing everyone else. He was pacing slowly back and forth, pinching the bridge of his nose and lowering his head in stress, frustration, destitution. I pushed past the tightly packed group of people and pulled on his arm, trying to get his attention, like a little girl would her father.

"Mr. M? Uh, um, Chris?" I asked timidly.

He immediately jumped around to face me, widening his eyes in false joy.

"Etain! What… what are you doing here?" he said, his façade already faltering, his joy turning to hesitation and then sadness.

"I was going to come over early, but, you know, I realized… I mean, I forgot, and I saw you, and-and so I just wanted to know how things were going, and-" Chris cut me off.

"Okay, okay, okay. Just slow down, and tell me again why you're here?"

"I forgot about the accident, and so I wanted to come to work early, but then I realized that…" I paused.

"...Oh, gosh, I don't know. I guess, now, I'm just worried. About the store. About my job, about… everything. Just… just, how are things? How bad are they?" I waited.

I watched as his face changed from many emotions... sadness, sympathy, concentration, and finally, a bleak defeat. His eyes looked one-hundred years older than they actually were, rimmed with pink and surrounded by a pale blue shadow, showing he hadn't gotten much sleep.

"Well, Etain…" he began, his voice trembling.

It felt as if my whole world was coming down, again, at this moment. An unimaginable feeling of grief washed over me.

"…I don't think were gonna make it."


	9. I'm Discontinuing the Story Here!

Dear fellow readers!

I'm so, _so _sorry to tell you that I'm discontinuing my story here and starting over on FictionPress.

No, it's not a joke. I fear that this story will b eventually targeted by FanFiction geeks, telling me to _get out._

_Secondly, you see..._ what I've started here wasn't all bad, but it was a bit of a first draft. I kind of just went along without any kind of outline. Now that I'm familiar enough with my characters, I will tweak them a bit and start them over, now that I've gotten comfortable with this story.

I'm really sorry guys, but I will you see you on Fiction Press if you wish. Thanks for reading, guys! And bye for now! (I will be checking in from time to time, though, I probably won't write any Fan Fiction stories for a long time.)

_**Thanks so much you guys! You're totally awesome for reading me and supporting me all the way here! Check me out at FictionPress!**_


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